I am a writer.
I’ve learned (recently) just how I write. How – I – write.
I used to think I needed a writer’s notebook to write. (To be a writer.) And I needed a room. Maybe a loft. Definitely a desk. Old. Wooden. Carved with someone else’s initials and scuffed at the legs. Funny the images I create. The people and personas I imagine. How one is supposed to write. Supposed to be. Supposed to live.
And none of them are me.
Who I am is a writer who writes in the morning while making the bed. While readying for work. Somewhere between brushing my hair and my teeth, I find my meaning. I write in come-to-mind phrases. Snatches of conversations I have with myself. Scraps of thought I may never sew together. A dropped stitch plucked up from some other day’s ideas.
Maybe my writer’s mind is free to roam while my body is otherwise occupied. Maybe I listen best to what I have to say while moving. Maybe it’s how I greet myself of a morning and find out what’s been on my mind all night.
I’ve taken to propping my computer open on my dresser. I stand there and write. Listening to my fingers find my words as they appear on the screen like some kind of sleight of hand magic trick tapping out today’s truth of me.
All of which is to say I am happy to find the writer I am and discard that draft of she I thought I should be.
A writer writes.
I’m an audience of one, hopeful to write and read whatever my words mean to say.
I am a writer.
4 thoughts on “after all”
Every time I visit here, I’m grateful for the calming, creative, out of the box, profoundness of your words.
I thank God for your presence in my life, friend.
I’m so grateful for your visits here! I’m glad you feel the sense of calm I feel. It hasn’t always been that way. Growing older is challenging me in so many ways, but I’m also gaining in a bit of self-acceptance – at long last. Thank you for your presence in my life as well.
So much I love about this. I agree with Linda – I always sense a comforting calm when I visit here. I also sense your self-acceptance, as you describe. My heart is always encouraged and lifted when I visit. ♡
A lifted heart! Oh what a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much, Debby! Your kindness is so encouraging. I want us all to have one hopeful year!