There’s nothing like a good dose of — I’ve been sick for weeks and I’m not sure what’s wrong with me– to slow, if not stall life on the spot. All the balls in air and mid-juggle, drop to the floor.
The mental rooms I lived in for almost a month felt smaller, more intimate, cleared of superfluous clutter, and I focused only on one thing — getting well. It was a life-shift, honestly. A paring down to the necessary and essential. Rest. Drink. Food. Every day’s decision evaluated by the sole criteria … Is this what’s best for me?
At the time, I found myself wishing for my “old life” back and wanted more than anything to think about something … anything … beyond my symptoms and what caused them. What eased them. What would finally elminate them.
Maybe it takes feeling really, really bad … to decide it’s time to live well.
Because after a week or so back into regular living, I’ve decided I don’t really want my old life back after all. I want to live a more careful and considered life where the focus question all day, every day is followed by that one and only get-well criteria I lived when I was sick …
Is this what’s best for me?
What choices do I need to make to feel … well?
What should I eat? Drink? When do I need to rest?
Which balls do I pick up? And which do I leave on the floor?
What mental clutter needs clearing?
The very questions that guided me during my illness are guiding me to my wellness too.
And it feels so good … to be well.