even the hardest parts

Sometimes life’s hard.

There’s grief. Loneliness. Worry. Disappointment. Sorrow. 

Even in a hopeful, happy life.

Could be it’s situational and driven by circumstances outside of my ordinary day to day.  Might be an old wound recently reopened. A good intention gone somehow wrong. Or maybe what I hoped for … dreamed about … counted the days until … somehow didn’t develop at all as planned.

Usually, I weep a bit. Slow, seeping tears. The kind that well up until the surface tension breaks, and they spill in a slow slide down my cheeks. Or maybe I turn away. Block the feeling. Avert my gaze. Deny it space or room to breathe inside me. I’m quiet. A little lacking in purpose. Adrift. Not much able to find comfort in almost any of the usual places.

I’m not sure what difference dawned in me today, but for today … I just want to feel the hard. Feel it all. The whole of it. Sit with it. Loll about in it. Inhale and exhale. Live through it and in it and on it and under it … until it’s over.

And done.

That’s what hope’s about, after all.  The certainty, faith, and knowledge life’s circle will eventually take a turn toward better. 

Because sometimes life’s hard.

And I want to live it all, learn it all, and love it all.

Even the hardest parts.

6 thoughts on “even the hardest parts

  1. Oh my … no one says it better. More eloquently. More true.

    May your writing lead you forward …

    Meanwhile I’m off to share your musings. They are so very good, friend.

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  2. I understand that choice to feel it rather than numbing it. It’s a tough one but you’ve put into words the importance of feeling it. Back when I was involved in youth ministry there was an Amy Grant song we sang where the chorus said, ‘Cause life is hard and it might not get easier’. I loved that song because it was one of the very few that spoke to the hard times while acknowledging the hope. Thanks for reminding us to live all of it, Barb!

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      1. We believe in God
        And we all need Jesus
        ‘Cause life is hard
        And it might not get easier
        But don’t be afraid
        To know who you are
        Don’t be afraid to show it

        If you believe in God
        If you say you need Jesus
        He’ll be where you are
        And he never will leave you

        Sing to me now words that are true
        So all in this place can know it…

        We believe in God
        And we all need Jesus
        We believe in God
        And we all need Jesus
        We believe in God
        And we all need Jesus

        🙂

        Like

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