Just the other day, I woke from a dream where I was taking a walk with my future self. There we were, side by side, walking down a country road. It was summer. We were relaxed. Smiling too, in my dimming memory of the dream.
I’ll take that as a good sign.
This morning, of course, I realize there’s so much I’d like to ask her – this me I’ve yet to be. I’ve had many conversations with the women I used to be, some critical and some congratulatory, but I’ve never to my recollection spoken with the woman I hope to become. Now the thought’s nested a bit, and I find it fascinating.
By nature, I’m a reflective and evaluative person. My dominant glance is backwards and over my shoulder. Just lately though, I’ve been trying to live more firmly placed in the present. I’m becoming more comfortable right where I am. This is good growth for me, and I can hear all the women I’ve been behind me cheering and raising a bit of a ruckus. Alleluia!
But what I want to know from that woman just ahead are questions I’m forming here at the crest of a new year – realizing as I ask them, that I’m almost completely in control of how she answers:
Are you happy?
Are you healthy?
Are you fulfilled?
Are you surrounded by people you love?
In my waking middle-of-the-night hours, I review my list of worries and what-ifs. It’s then I find myself wishing that woman from the dream was a fortune teller, reassuring me all will turn out fine in the end.
But what’s truly significant, I suppose, is how she and I walked forward together. Side by side. And I understand now that she’s just as dependent on me for how her life turns out, as I am hopeful for her life to turn out well.
So let’s keep walking. Side by each. Our whole cheering section walks just back over our shoulders and with us every step of the way.
Forward is, after all, the direction of hope.