life lessons: begin again

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Life always feels more hopeful when I wake to sunshine.

It’s quiet, but for the birdsong, and I feel ready – to begin again.

Do you ever wonder about the commonalities of human thought? The feelings we share? The need for our self-actualization? I understand differences like culture, life experiences, and opportunities – but what I’m wondering today is: Do other people feel like I feel?

See the thing is, I want more for myself and from myself than I’m currently giving to myself. Mostly,  I want to learn to be as gentle and as kind to myself as I try to be to others.

Because lately I feel off track.  And when I lose my way – for what feels like the umpteenth time –  there’s a feeling of defeat or sense of failure, some internal yardstick I fall short of or inner voice droning on and on in the middle of a sleepless night about my misplaced priorities and the promises – to myself – I’ve made and broken.

Again. And again.

Ideas and inspirations I’ve never followed through with. Details I’ve forgotten. Friendships I’ve left unpursued. The dinners I’ve ordered out and cakes I baked from a box.

On the list are the omissions I’ve made. Things I should’ve said and didn’t. Things I said I wish I hadn’t. Emails I never answered. Some buyer’s remorse and how very much money I’ve spent on retail therapy. Calls I never made.

I remember – every morning – how I chose the night before to endlessly scroll Instagram instead of reading the book I’ve been waiting to read.

I think about the weight I haven’t lost. The pizza and wings I selected over a simple salad and grilled chicken. All those ounces and ounces of water I never drank.

And what I want to know is: Do we all hoist the yardstick? Do we all value what the voice has to say?

Because if we do, if we have this commonality about us, I want you to know: I’m learning not to listen.

And I’m learning to begin again.

Today.

Today the sun shines, the birds sing, and I’m ready.

Whatever goals you’ve let lapse. Whatever dreams you’ve forgotten. Whatever hopes you still hold in your heart.

Today … you can begin again.

 

 

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