It wasn’t until I took the dog out this afternoon after work that I noticed the weather. Mind you, there’s nothing all that fascinating about the cloudy day out there today – it’s just that I didn’t notice it at all. Not once. All day.
It’s a little unsettling.
Sitting here now, I hear cars filled with people on their way to their own homecomings. and I wonder if they feel as engrossed in their days as I’ve been in mine.
It’s like I need to catch up. Like I want to know what I missed while I was so mentally among the missing. What if I missed more than the weather?
There’s a thing now – it’s some sort of social anxiety or a kind of nervous condition called FoMO, Have you heard about it? Fear of Missing Out is like this general uneasiness that you’re going to miss out on something big, something important, or fun, or inspiring, and something nearly everyone else will be taking part in. Except those of us who miss out.
Like me. Because I was too busy – and missed whatever it was I shouldn’t have.
So maybe that’s what I have: FoMO.
And now that I see today’s weather right there out in my backyard, I feel afraid of just how totally my day consumed me – my every thought, conversation, action, and plan. I don’t know how to be anything other than totally committed to what I do, but still – what about the rest of me?
There’s a difference, I think, between being totally present in your life and being consumed by it. Or parts of it, anyway.
We all wear a lot of hats. It’s important for me to wear them all, but I need time to take them off too.
I need to go bareheaded once in awhile.
Right about now seems right.