Hand-Held

It’s morning and I forget what it is I wanted to write yesterday.  Probably just as well, because yesterday wasn’t such a happy day.  I walked only one step ahead of  tear drops and was really better off left alone.

The stress of finality and new beginnings surrounds me.  Night before last, I literally dreamed I was drowning.  Perhaps Freud was onto something after all.  I called Help Help  into the night of my own personal darkness and The One who is there for me always gathered me up to reassure I am, in fact, still on solid ground.

I’ve been allowing myself to travel the trajectory of someone else’s arrow. 

Silly me.

Today is a return to faith.  This faith reminds me I never walk my path alone – crying out as I may – but really and truly guided.  Hand-held.  Loved.  Who I am is. good. enough.

Good enough to grow on.

Blessings on your day.

Be Still

This is one of those dizzying, head spinning days where I see both sides of every argument and want to please all the people, all the time.  I’m stuck in push me-pull you mode.  I can’t find my way to any sort of decision and throw my fortune to the winds of chance.

I worry too much.  Worry this way and that – a twisting path taking everyone else’s point of view – until I’m not even sure I have my own point of view.  Or an opinion clear enough to recognize anyway.

It’s times like this I need to be still.  And quiet.  I need to let these colorful swirls of indecision dissipate and dissolve until I’m ready.  Head  clear.  Eyes clear.  Mind open.  Ready.

Being still allows me better listening.  And maybe the late afternoon bird chatter I hear will feed my soul in exactly the right way for this just this moment.  A moment I might miss otherwise. 

Being still allows me to feel with the touch of my life, not just the emotion and heart of my life.  The stiff fabric of the jeans I fold.  The always surprising softness of my beagle’s ears. The new summer sun and hose water and the curve of my favorite reading chair.

Being still gives me time.  The time I need to wrap my mind around whatever it is I’ve been unable to wrap it around thus far. 

It’s time to take time.  Make time.  Find the time.

For only time … will tell.